Have you ever found yourself focusing and holding on to the one bad thing that happened in a day instead of holding on the 10 good things of that same day? You are not alone. Holding on to those bad things add up over time. It not only ruins today but also future times when your memory triggers that moment and you feel the negative emotions all over again. We hold on to so much shit from our past with grudges. It holds us back from being our unique self and is a sucky, depressing place to be. I learned from doing the Landmark Forum that, humans at an early age link up the things that are important to remember for survival. Something goes wrong when we are young and we attach a life value to it. They are 5 year old priories and are very different than 35 year old.
Confessions: As a kid, I was sick all the time and had few friends because I was at home a lot. At home I had to appease my emotionally immature family members. I learned from observing that I needed to remember all the bad things that were happening around me for later self-preservation/acceptance from my family. So, my 5-year-old neurons made strong connections to not only remember undesirable circumstance but to pop them up to me later if something triggered a memory of that event.
What you focus on expands as seen in the movie The Secret. Napoleon Hill in his 17 Success Scrolls talks about being able do anything if you believe you just simply believe you can. Jesus in the New Testament talked about a man being able to move a mountain if he had faith the size of a mustard seed (small Small seed). Even further back than that there is a Proverb that says “As a man thinks, so he is.”
Confessions: In high school I wrote this proverb on a paper that I hung up on my bathroom mirror. I wrote out my goals daily and had them posted on my journals and wall. But I still had terrible self-image issues and constantly hid or sabotaged good things in my life. During the Doctor of Chiropractic Program, I went on 3 missions trips to serve and help find myself, I tried diet after diet, cleanse after cleanse, and program after program to try to fix this my mind body and soul. I finally decided that I just needed to fake it until I made it and guess what? That didn’t work for me. It just had me spinning my wheels with less results!
Organic tip: As Steven Covey says in his book 7 habits of highly successful people always sharpen your saw. Or keep learning. Being a business minded person, I try to read one business or self-help book a week and I have done countless self-help seminars/programs. Doing the Landmark Forum in 2007 changed my life and got me out of a huge slump I had been in due to health issues. It helped me realize that I get to create my reality every minute and that I don’t need to hide from the world because of my problems with toxins and foods. While writing this book I stumbled on the book the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. His message is that we get to points in our life where things are good and we start to fear that it is too good so we need to sabotage our happiness, health, career or relationships. He calls this Upper limit problems. He counters this with the fact that this limit we put on ourselves is false and things can get better and better. From this book I started to understand Louise Hayes book You can heal your self that I had read in the past and using Denise Dufield-Thomas’s from Lucky Bitch, forgiveness techniques I have transformed my life. I am happier than ever. I believe that good things are happening to me too. Denise talks about using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to work though forgiving the past and present to move forward. This can literally heal your life just like Louise Hays talks about. I first experienced EFT when I was a student intern at Life University in 2010. I did not believe in it but I was open to it. I met a Bill Dovel EFT specialist when I moved to Boise and had many experiences with him that showed me how to do the technique and helped me through obstacles. When I learned Denise’s simple formula I applied it and it works!
Write down all the things from the past/present related to foods, body image, organic, bitches, life. Any of those moments that make you cringe in embarrassment, anger or sadness from the present or past. This is the hardest part. Then you go through each item and see how it feels in your body say “I forgive you, I am sorry, I love you.” While tapping on the EFT points. Top of the head, above the eyebrows, sides of eyes, under nose, under chin, collar bones, sides of ribs and karate chop point on the hands. I do this in the shower in the mornings or at a beautiful wildlife area on my way to work that over looks the mountains. When Items no longer have emotions related to them, check them off and move on. Usually I write out a new list monthly. You might not need to do it this often. Do what feels right to you. Eft works because the body has memory and if you tap into certain points it will help erase the emotions. Just like recording over a DVD you hate. You can look up more specific points to tap on on YouTube or find an EFT practitioner in your area. Or heck, Bill Dovel does skype treatments and he is good! This seems a little crazy but it works. Try it out. Make your list and go through the 3 sentences.
Organic Tip: You can also say your goals as if they are happening now while going through the EFT points. If a past item brings up tears while you are clearing it out. Go through the Eft points tapping and say “I hurt, I accept, I feel better” until there is no emotion with it or you take a deep breath.